Growing up, I never had to wonder what a dedicated teacher looked like. I saw two of them every single morning before school, and still saw them there when I came back in the evening. My mom taught elementary school. My dad taught high school and eventually ran it as principal. Neither of them punched a clock. They were the first ones in the building and, more times than not, the last to leave.

They’ve been retired for over 20 years now, and they still miss it. The planning, the connecting, the moment something finally clicks for a kid who’d been grinding on it for weeks. My in-laws felt the same pull. My mother-in-law taught elementary school. My father-in-law retired from the Air Force and walked straight into a classroom to teach ROTC. Different paths, same instinct.

National Teacher Day is May 5 this year, sitting inside Teacher Appreciation Week, which runs May 4 through 8. We’ll do the usual things. Write a note, bring coffee, post something with a hashtag. All of that is fine. I keep thinking, though, that there’s a version of appreciation that actually matches what teachers do, and most of us never quite get there.

The Part Nobody Talks About

We tend to frame teachers as people who shape children. That’s true, but it’s not the whole picture. The actual impact of a good teacher doesn’t fully show up in childhood. It shows up in you, decades later, in ways you’ve probably never connected back to a classroom.

A 2022 study published in BMC Psychology tracked whether meaningful experiences with teachers during childhood and adolescence carried into adult wellbeing. Researchers connected those early teacher experiences to adults’ levels of anxiety, stress, resilience, self-esteem, and overall life satisfaction. The kind you’re still working on, decades after you left that classroom.

The person who speaks up in meetings, or doesn’t. The person who trusts their own instincts, or second-guesses everything. Some of that thread runs back to a specific classroom, a specific person who decided you were worth their attention.

It’s Not the Lessons. It’s the Relationship.

Think about the teacher whose voice is still somewhere in your head. Probably not the one who taught you that mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. More likely the one who told you that you talk too much, so maybe radio is the right choice (I thanked that teacher). Or the one who pushed you in a way that felt like belief rather than pressure. Or the one who noticed something was off before you could have named it yourself.

My mom got the little ones, the kids still figuring out how school works, how the world works. She stayed late because an extra hour of prep in the evening meant a smoother morning for a seven-year-old who was already nervous walking through the door. My dad stayed late because the principal is supposed to. For him it wasn’t just the kids. Sometimes the teachers needed a hand, too. 

That same research works in the other direction too. The teacher who embarrassed you in front of the class. The one who decided early on you weren’t a math person and quietly stopped calling on you. Those moments travel just as far. They show up in whether you trust your own instincts, in how you handle being wrong in front of other people, in the way you shrink or don’t shrink when someone in authority is watching. Most people never connect it back to a specific room, a specific year, a specific person who had more influence than they probably realized.

Teachers make roughly 1,500 decisions per day inside the classroom. Not curriculum decisions. Human ones. Who needs encouragement right now. Who’s checked out and why. Who needs to be called on and who needs to be left alone today.

What It Looks Like in South Dakota

South Dakota ranked 46th in the country in average teacher salary for the 2023-24 school year, at $56,328, according to the National Education Association. The state ranked 49th in 2017, when the average salary was $47,096.

Rural districts carry a heavier load. One superintendent in north-central South Dakota described filling his teaching staff as putting jigsaw puzzle pieces together every single year. During the 2024-25 school year, 200 teaching positions opened mid-year statewide, according to the South Dakota Education Association. Some schools leaned on retired teachers to fill the gaps.

A minimum teacher salary of $45,000 is now set to take effect in South Dakota starting July 2026, which should help. Salary alone doesn’t explain why people stay in teaching or why they leave, but it’s a signal. It tells people whether their work is considered worth showing up for.

The Quiet Ones Don’t Know

Teachers rarely see the finished product. They get the kid for a year, maybe two, and then the kid moves on. The return on all those early mornings and late evenings and small decisions made on behalf of other people’s children almost never comes back around in any visible way.

My parents are in their 80s now. They still talk about former students. Still wonder how certain kids turned out. Decades of early mornings and late evenings, and most of the people they shaped have no idea the thread runs back that far.

So this May 5, sure, bring the coffee. Write the note. Post the thing. And if a name comes to mind, someone who made you feel capable when you weren’t sure you were, think about closing the gap a little. Tell them. Or if they’re gone, say it out loud to someone who knew them. 

They built something in you. They probably deserve to know.